Three Phases of a Runner

Social media and other forums receive comments ranging across the board. As the runner progresses in his running life, viewpoints and expectations change over  period of time. I am weaving such changes into other aspects of life which we will easily recognise. So the next time you read a comment on social media or other forums, please bear in mind what phase of ones running life the runners is in.

     Puppy love phase:

1. Money is no object. Trysts occur in 5 star hotel coffee shops

2. You buy every running accessory. In a running store, you are like the proverbial kid in the sweetmeat shop.

3. You hang on to every word s/he speaks.

4. You eagerly read every post related to running.

5. You enter every race that you can register for

6. Your coach is very knowledgable; he is so awesome

7. You hold your fart in.

8. Your uncle and cousins are at home when you come back from your maiden 10K all eager to listen to your act of valour. You wife cooks a lavish meal.

9. You conceal the fact that you could barely keep up with the 1:15 hour pacer for the 10K

10. After every blistering 2K you update your blog and post it on all social media and mailing lists

11. Your Garmin and HR monitor are eagerly tracked after each run. You ponder over your aerobic threshold numbers.

12. You smile as you run. You cannot get enough base building miles into your log. You take part in monthly events of all formats.

13. Running injuries are for sissies.

14. Every single post / email of your running group is eagerly read and responded

15. You splash photos of your first 5K running medal. It is your DP picture for months.

        Middle age phase:

1. Expediency matters. Its CCD now. Barista or Costa on special occasions.

2. You know what you want. You buy your usual and come out after quickly browsing to see if anything is new.

3. When s/he starts the sentence, you know where this is going.

4. You read the first para and skip the usual rest.

5. You debate the value of a HM for 1300/- vis-a-vis a FM for 900/- “Cost per km run” figures prominently

6. Your coach is fine guy, but you certainly beg to differ

7. You fart with discretion

8. Your wife mentions your Full Marathon to her mom on the phone. She wrinkles her nose as you open a beer.

9. You run with ease and help the 2:15 pacer for the HM

10. Your blog gets updated only when there are significant events that you run

11. You often leave your heart rate strap at home. You run by feel

12. Run Less Run Faster appeals to you. You know that recovery is essential

13. You are happy that your ITBS behaved itself during your HM

14. You go over your FB/ RFL running groups on weekends. You let posts pile up

15. Significant running medals find their way to FB

 

     Mature phase:

1. Nescafe at home over the morning newspaper.

2. You window shop and pass by.

3. You raise the newspaper.

4. You usually ignore all running gyan.

5. Other than a marque event here or there, you have generally seen them all

6. Your doctorate from the UGLA ( University of Google in Los Angeles ) entitles you to openly differ.

7. Did I just fart?

8. Wife instructs you to take off your shoes outside, while the weekend task list is kept ready.

9. You are the 2 hour Pacer for the HM

10. You are not sure of the username and password to your blog

11. Your HRM is used a  watch. You know your pace and HR by feel.

12. You do not care for your training plans anymore. You are at peak anyways.

13. Your gait has a distinct wobble. Your Physio gets a Diwali gift hamper each year.

14. You do not visit FB/ RFL groups unless you get ‘notified’.

15. Most of your running medals are rusted and not worth photographing anymore.